Making decisions on a day-to-day basis is inevitable. In fact, we’re practically always making decisions. Decisions can range from the simple things in life like what to cook for dinner to making a decision that could ultimately impact the rest of our lives.
Decision making is hard. sometimes it can feel like you’re being pulled from each arm in opposite directions. You think you know what your heart might want, while you kinda maybe sort of know what decision is the most logical. However, all at the same time you have no idea what to think or what to choose. It sucks, but we’ve all been there.
During some research last month I came across the concept that the more little decisions you make, the better you’ll get at making big decisions. Ever since reading this I began practicing. Instead of answering questions with I don’t know and I’m not sure, I try my best to make a commitment based on how I’m feeling at that given time. One thing I’ve realized is that it’s okay to change your mind.
A client of mine the other day said to me
“I’m not the one making the decisions, the decisions are being made for me. I feel obligated with no choice.”
As a result of feeling like he was being forced into this life-changing decision he began to resent the situation. It was causing him to procrastinate and feel extremely lost. He was starting to be a pessimist about every aspect that would result from the decision. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you feel like you can’t choose for yourself, it is important to fully understand that there is always a choice. You may not like the different options, but there is always a decision to be made.
When first trying to make a tough decision it is crucial to know just how powerful decision making is. Understanding this and knowing that your fate is in your own hands can be overwhelming. Recently I was put into a situation where I had to make a life-changing choice within a small time frame. The first few days of weighing each of my options I couldn’t even focus because of constant “stress-induced” headache. Fortunately, after finally making a choice, I’ve developed a few decision making tips for how to make a decision that could impact the rest of your life and change your future plans.
The first thing I like to do is refer to the good old fashion exercise of weighing the pros and the cons of each of my choices. Personally, I find this works best when you take the time to write it down. However, contrary to what I used to believe, it doesn’t matter which option has the most pros and which has the most cons. What does matter is how each of these points will impact you on a personal level. It is one thing to think okay so ____ could happen, it is an entirely other thing to fully understand how this will make you feel if it does or doesn’t. Sometimes the decisions you make go beyond impacting just yourself. It is important that when evaluating the pros and cons that you include those aspects too and understand how impacting those around you through each choice will make you feel as well. It is during this decision making stage where I find the most clarity.
Another exercise I tend to use when making a tough decision is a bit more metaphorical. I imagine that there was a person standing in font of me holding a coin. Each side of the coin represents one of my choices. The person in font of me would then tosses the coin into the air and whatever side was facing upwards was the choice I have to make. During this exercise I like to focus on the moment when the coin is flying through the air and think about which side of the coin I was hoping to face upward in the last second before it hit the ground. I find this exercises shows me what I actually want. However, as we all know what we want isn’t always what’s best for us in the long run. Reasonably so this exercise isn’t always useful but it sure is fun and can help you gain an understand of which choice you subconsciously want and how this subconscious desire is impacting your thoughts on each of your options.
All in all, decision making can be tough and when caught in the midst of making a decision it can impact you both physically and mentally. If ever in a similar situation remember that procrastination isn’t the answer. The answer lies with you, it just may take some digging around to figure out what is truly best for you.
Until next time,
Kristyn Breeze xx