Have you ever found yourself thinking your life sucks because other people suck?
If so, it is important to understand that you are taking on a victim mentality. To sum up the definition of victim mentality it is an acquired (learned) personality trait where the person makes excuses for the negative aspects of their life based off the actions of others. If you have victim mentality, you often see your life through a perspective that things happen ‘to’ you. It is a combination of regarding the majority of your life as negative, beyond your control, and sometimes you believe you deserve sympathy because you ‘deserve’ better.
You can’t loose weight because your too busy with caring for your kids and you don’t have time to go to the gym.
You can’t adapt healthier eating habits because the grocery store doesn’t sell enough vegetables that you like.
You’re lonely because no one has asked you out in a long time.
You can’t get good grades because no one is around to help or guide you.
Ultimately, you can see from the examples above that that these people are not taking responsibility for themselves and do not realize that they are in control of their own lives. They are blaming their challenges on others around them.
At times in my life I’ve had a victim mentality too. Sometimes it can seem hard to avoid and easier to blame others for the areas of our lives that make us unhappy. In believing this we believe we have no power, thus we don’t have to take action.
Others have definitely influenced our lives, there’s no doubt about that . Looking back we cannot control where we grew up, who we were friends with, or which school we went to. However, what we can do is accept our past, learn from it, and move on. You always have the ability to make a change if you really want to. Letting your past hold you back would be an excuse to take the easy way out,
Here’s a reality check for you- your life sucks because you do.
Ohh harsh I know, but it’s true. YOU AND ONLY YOU ARE THE CATALYST OF YOUR OWN LIFE!
You can choose your reactions and actions in certain situations. In other words, you are responsible for how you overcome times of struggle and whether or not you learn valuable lessons from each of the challenges of your life.
Misfortune and challenges are bound to occur, however it doesn’t come down to your personal values and whether or not you “deserve it” or not.
You can choose to learn for your mistakes.
You can choose to view your problems as opportunities.
You can choose to be happy.
You can choose the outlook you have on life and on others.
You can choose to take action and follow your dreams
Or you can choose to not …
Instead you can choose to blame other for the struggles you go through
Instead you can choose to not take responsibility for your own life.
Instead you can choose to wait.
Instead you can choose to let the opinions of others get you down.
Instead you can choose to spend your life wondering “what if.”
Although it can be harder to choose the path of accepting responsibility for your own actions, ultimately it is the more beneficial and rewarding route to take. Once you recognize that you are responsible for your own finances, relationships, happiness and fitness and health, you stop blaming others and start taking action.
“No matter how well you’re already doing or how challenged you now may be, deep inside of you there lies a belief that your experience of life can and will be much greater than it already is.”
If you truly want to make a change you can channel your energy into achieving this greatness. It may not come easy and there will most likely be obstacles that get in your way. Use these obstacles as opportunities, opportunities to learn something new or to see things from a new perspective.
Taking responsibility for your own life has so many benefits, but for me, the most significant aspect was feeling like a weight had been lifted off my chest. Since taking responsibility for all my struggles and trying my absolute hardest to see things from a new perspective so that I could learn from it, I have gained clarity, become much more relaxed, and most importantly I’ve been able to take action to improve the areas of my life that were “causing” my unhappiness. Taking responsibility of my actions also means that I can give myself credit for all that I have achieved. I don’t have to second guess whether or not I am worthy or not or if I deserve the happiness that I feel. For that I am so thankful.
Take things day by day. Use each day as a new step toward your goal. Look outside the box. Step outside your comfort zone. When things go wrong DO NOT BLAME OTHERS. Take full control and responsibility for your life. Be true to your heart and chase your desires.
Remember, you can achieve great things when you drop the victim mentality. Stop hiding behind it and start living your life to your full potential.
Until next time,
Kristyn Breeze xx.