I Stopped Looking For The Light & Decided To Become It Instead

Anyone that knows me well knows that the past couple weeks have been a bit of a run around. They’ve been hectic and filled with stressful situations. While planning my move to Melbourne and booking 4 flights for other adventures in between, I found out that I’m being evicted from my house in two weeks as the tenants that hold the lease are moving across the country. Not only do I not have anywhere to live for my last two weeks in Sydney within my budget, but also my shifts are being cut at work and I have a bank account balance of $140 until I’m paid in two weeks (I still have 3/4 flights to book). WHO SAID TRAVELLING WAS EASY???? flights

I normally hold out and only do one blog post a week, but every time I write a new one it opens up my mind to new thoughts, new perspectives, and allows me to see things more clearly. That being said I could definitely use a change in perspective since I have been feeling a bit stuck.

I’ve set a few very tough goals for myself, which have deadlines that are fast approaching. I’ve been starting to doubt my ability to attain these goals and I’ve begun to think that I’m in way over my head. Lately, I haven’t taken the time to read much in Holden’s novel Shift Happens! How to Live an Inspired Life… Starting right now! I decided to take some time to relax and read, hoping his words would guide me in the right direction.

Within a few minutes I found myself nodding my head yes. It was as if he knew exactly what I was feeling, the reality of my thoughts were just a few page turns away.

The “psychology of stuck” is that being stuck is really a form of self-sabotage. People who are stuck are usually being held back by a riot of self-attack and self-doubt. The ego is on the rampage, looting the mind of vision, courage, and trust.

Holden goes on to discuss how the feeling of being stuck is a sign you are not in your true power because your mind is fighting the fear of something new. For my current situation this “fear” lies within my newfound love for acroyoga. I have signed up for a retreat in Tasmania, as well as another retreat in Adelaide. Acroyoga is not in the slightest way competitive, it is filled with love and dedication. I have nothing to be afraid of. No reason to think that I’m not good enough or won’t become as good as I aspire to be, yet I still am completely terrified about the adventures I’m about to embark on.

I had to ask myself:

What am I afraid of?

What is stopping me from achieving these goals?

How can I achieve these goals?

I’m still pondering what I am afraid of since I know that I truly have nothing to lose. My mind is caught between what I want (to achieve my goals) and what its afraid to have (to also achieve my goals), but WHY?? Or am I not afraid of achieving my goals, but instead not committed enough to achieve them?

At the time, I didn’t realize that I deserve anything that I have the willingness to achieve; I was too focused on my self-doubt. I made the mistake of mustering about what I had to do to deserve my goals, 15726782_10154925612437276_4145798782896645325_nwhen I should have been thinking about what I had to do to achieve my goals.

It was on my way into my yoga class yesterday that I saw a shirt with the following quote on it:

“I stopped looking for the light & decided to become it instead.”

I read this quote once on my way in, thought about it during my practice, and then read it again twice on the way out. Something about it spoke to me and inspired the light within me. It was while walking home that I realized that I keep looking for a sign that I deserve to practice and improve at acro. I kept thinking things like if I can do the splits by ___ date, then I deserve this and if I can nail this stunt in one go, then I deserve this. Meanwhile, I shouldn’t have been looking for “a sign”. Especially when the sign is something that I have to personally work at and strive to achieve. Instead, I have to use the power within myself, and my willingness to succeed to get to where I want to be.

This is the power of beliefs. Beliefs have the ability to control your life. They can change your perspective so much that they can either limit you or inspire you. As Holden suggests, you have to ask yourself do you want to cling to old beliefs that cause pain and fear or open up to new beliefs that are more joyous and liberating? The choice is yours. 

He is right. The choice is mine. Although I may doubt myself a few hours from now and possibly many times after that, I am choosing to not give up, to give my goals my all, and strive my absolute hardest to succeed.

14053954_10154490669997276_3219542409975555629_nAccording to Huffington Post, we have between 50,000-70,000 thoughts a day. Make these thoughts count and focus on both the positive thoughts and the aspects of your thoughts that will inspire you and bring you joy. Similar to myself, if you neglect to focus on your highest thoughts, you will find yourself feeling stuck, feeling lost, and giving yourself a hard time. You don’t deserve this. You deserve to live an inspired life filled with joy, positivity, and happiness.

“Remember, whenever you are stuck you are being invited to choose peace, choose love, choose success, choose help, and choose your higher mind. Being stuck is a prompt to give away the old and receive the new. It is a call to let go of the past and unwrap the present. It is a call to give up your ego and step into your true light.”

Until next week when I turn 21 and may become wiser,

Kristyn Breeze xx

 

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